22 MONTHS ON
It’s now been 22 months since Abram died. It feels strange to write that. To put it into words. I’m not sure how 22 months is supposed to feel as I don’t think I’ve ever marked it before; it’s not a particularly significant period of time and I often wonder if once I get past 9th June 2014, I’ll stop counting in months. But I think if I’m honest I’ll always notice when it’s the 9th.
The funny thing about time is that it feels a lot different to how we measure it. We’ve essentially agreed to divide it into set units, but depending on how those units feel depends on how long or short you judge them to be. I suppose what I’m trying to say is, that although we figured out a way to measure how time progresses it ends up being relatively unimportant when something significant happens, or insignificant even, like the passing of a weekend. If you’re really busy and pack it full of different events and people it can sometimes feel like days, but if you get up late and while the days away watching TV and not doing much, it can seem to pass very quickly, but technically it’s still the same number of units.
And when someone you love dies, sometimes it can feel like it happened yesterday and other times it can feel like it happened to someone else, like it didn’t happen at all because your life feels so different now that how could it have happened to you? There’s often an expectation that as time moves on you’ll start to feel better, and to a certain extent you do. It doesn’t feel as raw as it used to, but I only have to think about him for a second and my heart starts to break all over again. I’ll feel myself fighting back the tears, the tears that tell me that no matter how far away I get from when Abram was here and alive, I will always miss him, and that feeling will never change.
Someone asked me the other day if I set up the Abram Wilson Foundation to cope with the death of my husband. The short answer to that is yes, for me it was a natural response to what happened. From the moment Abram and I met we worked together, and in a very close capacity. We shared our dreams and we helped each other start to turn them into a reality. I got such a kick out of working with him and helping him realise his ambitions and I loved collaborating with an artist who was so passionate and determined and focused. So yes, the Foundation was a way of dealing with the loss I felt, and still feel today. But it’s also been Abram’s gift to me. It was like he came into my life, showed me the way and then said, ‘okay, I gotta be someplace else now, but I know you can do this, and don’t worry because no matter what happens I’ll always be with you.’
Abram was and continues to be my inspiration. When I’m a bit stuck and not sure what to do, I often think, what would Abram do? One day, when the Foundation has its own office we’re going to have a big picture framed on the wall that says ‘WWAD?’ (What Would Abram Do?). I want to ensure that whoever ends up working for the Abram Wilson Foundation will have an opportunity to connect to his optimism, his creativity, his gift for inspiring young people and old people alike, his sense of humour, his patience and his gentle soul that made everyone he came into contact with feel welcome and special. ‘What would Abram do?’ is a question that enables me to step back and think about all of those things, it gives me hope and encourages me to let go of the bits that I might be finding difficult or frustrating and focus on the positives instead. I like to think that it will become a major part of the Foundation’s ethos going forwards.
So where have I been and what have I been doing these last three months or so? Well, after we finished the tour there was a lot of consolidating to do. I’d spent nearly a year working with various people to ensure that we had a clear focus for what the Abram Wilson Foundation will be and who it will help going forwards. I’m super excited about what’s in store; the projects we have planned have the potential to make a real impact. It’s not going to be easy, there is a lot of work involved and we are on a mission to raise some serious funds to make it all happen, but if we pull it off it could be amazing.
A lot has been achieved in just 22 months, and I hope you’ll take a minute to find out about the journey on which we’ve embarked and continue to support the Foundation. Please have a look at the website, abramwilson.com as it’s recently been updated to reflect our mission and the next steps for the Abram Wilson Foundation. I feel very blessed to have received so much encouragement along the way and it’s been incredibly uplifting bringing new people on board. A big thank you to all of you.